By Bimbo Amao

So many questions beg for answers in this SillyMike and his human pups saga.

Is it just the Nigerian ‘notice-me’ syndrome?
Is it a fashion statement?
Is he living the human puppy lifestyle with the ladies, wherein he is the handler?
Is he trying to tell us something ?
Is it just an act of bravery and breaking barriers?
Or has the handler gone mad again?

High flying Lagosians try hard to outdo one another in swags and appearance. PrettyMike surely did outshine everyone in class and craze when he stepped out last Saturday to the wedding. I mean, we don’t even know the name of the bride, groom , their parents or other dignitaries.

The human puppy lifestyle is not new. Some humans enjoy being treated like dogs. I learnt it gives them the opportunity to shed off their human personality and take on the carefree attitude of a pup. Puppies like to get lots of attention. Dogs act on instinct rather than rationality. According to Psychology Today, the mind of a dog is roughly equivalent to that of a human child of about two to two and a half years old. The dog also has no emotional capacity for shame, pride, guilt and contempt. Now, convince me these girls/pups do not need some therapy sessions.

The handler, most times is an alpha homosexual. He can double as the master as you’ll get in other BDSM roles. He owns the pups. Here is the confusion; why are PrettyMike’s pups not men? Is he in a wholesome relationship with the girls? How did wholesome even get in there? What can be wholesome about sex with pups? Does he prefer sex with men? PrettyMike , why are you messing with my head? What are you trying to tell us?

I found it particularly sickening that some girls think this is an art, or act of bravery. There is no bravery in being the submissive partner on a leash. BDSM? People who are into BDSM generally prefer the role that fits their own level of agreeableness. Domineering people would seem to prefer the dominant role, while those who are willing to please naturally fit into the submissive, pain receiving, humiliating roles. Why should I be the one spanked, hurt, chained or on leash?

There is the claim of mutual consent. But a sane society should be worried that some girls think it’s okay to be a man’s dog. For money? Then it becomes more worrisome. Are there no other dignifying gigs than puppy play? My thought? It’s a case of mind deprivation, an obvious expression of human degradation and non existing self esteem. These are deep rooted issues and these girls need to be saved from themselves. Nigeria needs more professional psychotherapist because the harvest is indeed much.

Some beautiful boy thinks it’s an act of bravery and breaking barriers. “It’s self expression” he claimed and since self expression is stifled in Nigeria, he had to speak for them from The West. I can’t even chuckle! Where is the bravery in the dog-life? I thought we all concluded in Biology Class that Man is the higher animal. Why go low? Dog? Not even Lion, the king of the jungle?

This ambition to copy everything from The West is brain frying and tiring. So because The West didn’t frown about it, then it must be superior thinking? No, use your OWN head, not Tom’s.

Anyway, for the liberal soul and lovers of all things West, here is a complete kit if you want to get started as a pup.
Collars
kneepads
Paws/Mitts
Hoods/Muzzles (not that cheap mask, please)
Toys (at least something to chase and chew)
Feeding Bowl ( make sure it perfectly fits into your face)

Olodo!
Please , for the pain, play me that Olamide’s track ; “Ibile l’awon eleyi” and increase the volume for those of us at the back. We that are not liberal can at least dance!

Comments

  1. Funny enough, I have another approach to the entire incident. Let’s even look at it holistically

    …..

    1) The girls aren’t even fine. Damn, was expecting some drop dead diva or some hot show stopping damsels. Imagine my massive disappointment when I saw these mgbekes feeling funky.

    No well carved hips, no sexy gigantic butts, no bobby ( that would be breast), no bleached skin, no nothing.

    They actually look like puppies, twas easy for Mike to convince them to act like one… bloody traitors.

    2) Mike is didn’t get his acts right before stepping out, now let’s analyze his so called publicity stunt

    – puppies hair – very synthetic ; dude couldn’t even afford Lolavita, or Peruvian or Monrovian,…he couldn’t even afford the pure water Brazillian. And he couldn’t even give us some crazy hair styles like they used in Funke Akindel Omo ghetto. He had to use synthetic.

    – Their shoes – come on, who wears a China-made to a parade? What happened to the Louis Vuitton, Pumps, Manolo Blasomething, of our time. Doesn’t he follow the Toke Makinwa and Laura Ikeji of this days? Or at least use google.

    – Puppies outfits – I don’t even want to go there before Netizens will say I have bad mouth. But trust me, I won’t even allow my Maid wear that to the mall. Just trust me.

    – Mask – haba, guy you no try. You mean you couldn’t get a custom made mask specially designed for this show stealing moment? You no just try. You had to us this cheap mask from Idumota to make a statement. God will judge you.

    – The umbrellas are the most annoying items he used. As if it wasn’t bad enough, he had to add those lousy umbrellas, for what? No, for what?

    – then the chains – this should have been your USP, yeah your unique selling point. For a supposedly big boy club owner, why didn’t you even think of using heavy gold, or blings or dangling chain? I mean the type dem Snoop doggy and 50cents use in their music video? That’s what Rick Ross would have used. But no, you had to embarrass yourself by leashing your puppies to the Ojuelegba kind of chain. Adding insult to injury.

    Next time you want to make a statement PrettyMike- please wow us. Impress us, spoil your puppies and make other ladies jealous . Spend money like Emoney. Don’t be stingy. Be a laulau spender, afterall money dey.

    Until then, you have no rights whatsoever to step on the red carpet again. Stick to alligators, not human puppies.

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