By Olusola Alli
Tiwa Savage is pregnant, no? After that spilt milk video on YouTube? That’s just savage!
You hear the news of another celebrity marriage breakup but it hardly qualifies for the moniker. In a society where tens of these marriages break up every year, all with its own form of drama accompanied by the full props of theatrics, tears and name calling, do not blame me for becoming inured to this form of cheap entertainment.
These “happily married” women come out with tales of woes punctuated by a black eye or two, a puffy mouth attended by a dam of tears in as short as twelve hours after pictures of the blissful couple had just been shared on the pages of social media by this woman-in-love. It makes you wonder exactly who is fooling who. Could a man who was an angel twelve short hours ago do an about turn and become the devil’s first cousin?
But the world hears. Feminists come up in arms. They blame the husband, call him names. They tell the woman celebrity their shoulders are wide enough, strong enough to lean on.
It becomes nothing short of a comic relief when in a month or two, sometimes less, they see the couple back together with him rubbing sunscreen on her back at La Campagne Tropicana while she gazes into the camera, eyes dewy with love. Oh well, she had to forgive him. He is the father of her baby. Her supporters, though perplexed by the turn of events, are too loyal to admit that their idol is a girl in a woman’s body who knows nothing about what she wants. And if she becomes unfortunate enough to get a repeat performance of the boxing ring experience, out comes a video. Only that it tells of his shortcomings – embellished much the same way beans will hardly be recognised in a meal of moin-moinelemimeje.
Dear Woman Celebrity, open your eyes well before marriage. Watch out for the signs that indicate he could be a potential cheat, abuser, asshole. And if you get caught in the crosshairs of abuse after marriage, (wo)man up enough to leave and never go back.
Nigerians are tired of hearing your sob stories. They no longer touch, even the bum-bum.