Sex and Seduction with Pink Mafia – Vol 2
My husband is rough and violent during sex
Dear Pink Mafia,
I have been married for four years and dating for two before that, when we were dating my husband and I didn’t have sex but only started once we got married. I write because I am concerned that I am being abused but I don’t know.
My husband and I argue a lot and after we have had the argument we always seem to end up in bed but when we have sex it is very rough, and painful, sometimes I even bleed, and when I complain, my husband tells me that angry sex is the best and that don’t I like it?
I don’t know how else to tell him that I don’t like us always have sex in anger and I am now afraid to sleep with him.
I am of the idea that if it hurts, you don’t want it and whatever it is, is being forced on you that is automatically a violation of your being. Based on what you have said above there are elements of abuse in your life, to be more specific sexual abuse.
As a counsellor the first thing I would say is GET OUT of an unsafe situation, I don’t mean divorce, I mean leave the space/ proximity because you don’t know when situations can escalate. Following this I would say speak to your husband with a counsellor to find out what is causing this and if he can get to understand why you don’t want this and why it must stop.
On a final note, this is your life and if this thing is damaging you, I don’t think that you should abide it just because you are married.
My girl is cheating on me
Dear Pink Mafia
My girlfriend is cheating on me and I don’t know what to do.
We have been dating for 10 years and engaged for 2 years and I love her (and she knows I love her), however she had been seeing a man in her office, and it isn’t just having sex, it’s also going out, in fact it’s a very public affair.
When I questioned her about it she said that other than my ‘unwillingness’ to marry her, he is a more exciting partner in bed.
I love her, and I want to marry her but I don’t know what to do?
I am sorry to hear that your girlfriend is cheating on you, it is never easy when your trust has been broken but let us get a few facts straight.
- All relationships hit peaks and valleys in excitement sexually and otherwise, and having dated for 10 years she would know this. Therefore, there is a chance that this is not the reason why she is having this affair.
- There is a chance that due to your long relationship without a ‘marriage’ she is either getting bored or scared that you would never marry her and is either trying to force your hand or find an alternative option.
- Ask yourself truthfully why you haven’t married her despite a 10 year relationship and 2 year engagement, is it truly for practical reason (making money to live) or because you are not sure?
- Can you really forgive and forget after all her rendezvous with another man, if not, do you really want to be in this relationship as a form of revenge for both parties.
When you get the answer of the above I believe you will be able to answer if you should marry her, and what to do.