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My husband is rough and violent during sex

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Sex and Seduction with Pink Mafia – Vol 2

My husband is rough and violent during sex

Dear Pink Mafia,

I have been married for four years and dating for two before that, when we were dating my husband and I didn’t have sex but only started once we got married. I write because I am concerned that I am being abused but I don’t know.

My husband and I argue a lot and after we have had the argument we always seem to end up in bed but when we have sex it is very rough, and painful, sometimes I even bleed, and when I complain, my husband tells me that angry sex is the best and that don’t I like it?

I don’t know how else to tell him that I don’t like us always have sex in anger and I am now afraid to sleep with him.

Lara

Dear Lara,

I am of the idea that if it hurts, you don’t want it and whatever it is, is being forced on you that is automatically a violation of your being. Based on what you have said above there are elements of abuse in your life, to be more specific sexual abuse.

As a counsellor the first thing I would say is GET OUT of an unsafe situation, I don’t mean divorce, I mean leave the space/ proximity because you don’t know when situations can escalate. Following this I would say speak to your husband with a counsellor to find out what is causing this and if he can get to understand why you don’t want this and why it must stop.

On a final note, this is your life and if this thing is damaging you, I don’t think that you should abide it just because you are married.


My girl is cheating on me

Dear Pink Mafia

My girlfriend is cheating on me and I don’t know what to do.

We have been dating for 10 years and engaged for 2 years and I love her (and she knows I love her), however she had been seeing a man in her office, and it isn’t just having sex, it’s also going out, in fact it’s a very public affair.

When I questioned her about it she said that other than my ‘unwillingness’ to marry her, he is a more exciting partner in bed.

I love her, and I want to marry her but I don’t know what to do?

Ayomide

Dear Ayomide,

I am sorry to hear that your girlfriend is cheating on you, it is never easy when your trust has been broken but let us get a few facts straight.

  1. All relationships hit peaks and valleys in excitement sexually and otherwise, and having dated for 10 years she would know this. Therefore, there is a chance that this is not the reason why she is having this affair.
  2. There is a chance that due to your long relationship without a ‘marriage’ she is either getting bored or scared that you would never marry her and is either trying to force your hand or find an alternative option.
  3. Ask yourself truthfully why you haven’t married her despite a 10 year relationship and 2 year engagement, is it truly for practical reason (making money to live) or because you are not sure?
  4. Can you really forgive and forget after all her rendezvous with another man, if not, do you really want to be in this relationship as a form of revenge for both parties.

When you get the answer of the above I believe you will be able to answer if you should marry her, and what to do.

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