I just love…the sound!
It’s a rainy day today, perfect! Miraculous!
Heavy downpour, unarguably – the perfect excuse for staying home alone and having a deliciously, fulfilling lazy day…all by myself!
I’m feeling real lazy in bed, surrounded by my very own ‘guilty pleasures!’ (…inhales).
Pringles, Popcorn and Ice-cream – Oh yeah!
Today, there’ll be absolutely no regret what-so-ever. It’s a beautiful day and I intend to maximise it to its fullest. Life is indeed, beautiful (…smiles)!
Oops! My tummy rumbles ironically, in anticipation of breakfast, intruding on my thoughts.
Yep! One thing I know for sure…‘healthy appetite and denial of breakfast, never merge!’- True talk!
Knowingly, my hand reaches for the popcorn with unhurried grace, and at that instant…that very moment, our eyes locked- ‘Hers and Mine…..’My Reflection and I’ only separated by the world’s most prized female accessory and undeniably, ’every girl’s best-est friend’- The Mirror!
We gazed into each other’s eyes, she lay on her side, staring at me while I did same, facing the mirror. Slowly, I took in her features, simultaneously doing an overall assessment- attractively petite, quite fair, hair disheveled, gorgeous eyes, cute- little –pointed nose with small but lovely, full lips (Those lips! Out of which proceeds the most unbelievable utterances! Chuckles!!! )
Amazingly, she was without the barest tracing of make-up, yet, it dawned on me, this girl was a looker! Obviously the word ‘Fine’ wouldn’t do this lady justice! Definitely not! Rather, ‘Pretty’ was more like it! And at this realisation, I smiled- Really smiled, cos it was overwhelmingly honouring to realise, that ‘She,’ was ‘Me!
OMG!!! For the first time in a very long while, I really believed that smile, it was- heartfelt! I could honestly identify with the feelings beneath that smile. It wasn’t that ‘Cheesy- Perfect- Plastic Smile,’ we tend to give people, in order to convince them we’re fine. Nope! It wasn’t, this was my ‘Beautiful- Honest- to- God- Happy- Perfect Smile!’ and, I loved it! At last! At long….last!!! I was unreservedly content, with my life.
Hmm…, I close my eyes and snuggle in bed, while my mind’s eye does, an unfolding, of, my diary…Time….the magic of time! – She travels with an array of pleasant and sometimes, not so pleasant surprises, for some. Mmm….the beauty of time! Her pure beauty- She directs with her magical compass; unfurls dazzling mystical drapes and most definitely, she reveals!!! Mmm-hmm!
I’m usually not the kinda girl that gets all ‘Goo-goo eyed’ just cos she sees a guy who’s probably as handsome as sin. Absolutely not! Rather, I pride myself on keeping my head up and maintaining my cool, even when my heart is in total tumult, but Dustin…., Oh Dustin!!! How are the mighty fallen! The mighty may not fall often, but when they do? It’s pretty disastrous!
The first time I laid eyes on him, my world literarily stopped, he was, the most beautiful guy I’d ever seen! Dustin, only seventeen and already, he held such promise of pure masculine beauty. With his face perfectly chiseled and that body to die for, (Lord have mercy!) what more could a girl ask for?
There was this mysterious air about him, quite captivating actually, Dustin just, wasn’t one to be ignored, Good Lord! The boy was drop-dead gorgeous and the thing was, he knew it too!
I remember our first introduction; Dustin walked up to me with the most amazing smile, on his perfect lips, and just like that, just one smile- I was lost! I couldn’t seem to find my breath…..my heart unbelievably seemed to have lost its rhythm….Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
What was happening to me? It was like pure magic, he had cast an irrevocable spell on me. Impossible! It couldn’t be, ‘Me’ the extremely composed girl, who no guy could ruffle was absolutely tongue tied! But finally, (thank God!) I managed to gain control and gave my mind a bit of a mental scolding; it deserved (Whew! Eyeball rolling).
That, was how it all began…Dustin and I. Head-over-heels, irrevocably in Sweet-incredulous-Love! Or, so I thought.
You see, Dustin belonged to the ‘Sanguine’ lot, so, he automatically had the ability to make every girl believe that she was his ‘special one.’
That he was there to hold your hand, look you in he eye and give you all the attention in the world. But pretty much, amazingly, he turns around and gives that same attention to the next girl!
The effect: Many-a-girl think- ‘I am the one’ or that he, was her best friend (Not Me!).
Friend! Please…! When a guy looks you in the eye bewitching you with his effortless charm and every attention, you don’t think- ‘Friend!’
Exactly the source of my delusion!
As I had unconsciously begun exaggerating his every action. A simple hello, and he was the nicest guy I’d ever met!
A lingering conversation: ‘We were simply, compatible!’
A flirtatious remark or lingering gaze: ‘Chemistry! It couldn’t be better.’
So guys, this, was unmistakably the almighty head spinning-roller coaster- breath taking Love!
Of course it was! He loved me…he didn’t, just want to admit it yet. He was only waiting for the right moment!
He was ‘The One’…he just had to be! It was fate and we were perfect together!
Thus, was my obsession for Dustin, as imagined, I had placed him on a pedestal- ‘The Perfect Guy’ and no other, could contend! (Funny, I was basically none existent in his world!).
Years passed and somehow, we lost contact, but as the saying goes- ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ Dustin was forever in my head! What other proof did I need? This, was definitely unadulterated, Love!
I was strecthed out on my sofa Wednesday evening when my phone rang. Oh my goodness! I couldn’t believe it. It was Dustin!!!
We chatted just a bit and agreed to hook up for dinner on Friday. I was so…..excited and looked forward to our date, shamelessly.
At last, Friday night! I arrived right on time and gave the place surveillance- No Dustin! Already getting upset, I picked up my phone to call, when I heard him call my name. Apparently, he’d been sitting so close and I hadn’t recognised him at first glance! (Relief) At that moment, I turned but couldn’t believe my eyes, Oh No!!!
The promise of pure- raw- intoxicating masculine beauty hadn’t been fulfilled! He was not nearly as hot as I had eagerly anticipated….this was no hunk! Frankly speaking, his features were a bit of a bore! Unbelievable! Dustin had turned out to be the Average male!
Quickly, I fought for composure and sat down to chat, but then, slowly as I looked upon him with more mature eyes, I understood!- That ‘All- So- Captivating Confidence’ of his, seemed so…wrong! More so, I now saw him glaringly for who he was- An Egotistical Bloke! And just like that, time, like my very own fairy godmother wiggled her magical wand and….Zap! The crush…. Infatuation….Lust, whatever you might choose to call it, was gone! Love my foot! I was through!!!
Meanwhile, I sat there smiling the whole time, as the revelation hit me! At last! I was free! Free to fall in love and not judge whoever he was by some ‘Unreasonable Perfectionist Standard!’
A new chapter in my life was about to unfold and I just couldn’t wait! This had definitely been one Hell-of–a-ride!
Funny, Dustin sat there gloating in self-appraisal, as he looked upon me approvingly, thinking, he had once again, made a conquest. Oh! But I could see right through him now!
That had been yesterday night- The elixir for my elation! As if on cue, my tummy groans loudly, this time in protest and my eyes automatically fly open. Well, ‘thank God for small favours!’ (At least I didn’t have to be embarrassed, since I was home alone). Quickly, I grab some popcorn and glide to my windows, literarily floating in the air.
Wow! It had stopped raining and the sun was out, hmm…how time flies! Suddenly, the most ridiculously wonderful befitting theme song to bring my reverie to an end, creeps in my mind….plays on my lips, as I whistle loudly in elation- ‘I can see clearly now the rain is gone…’ Goodbye Heavy Downpours, Hello…Sunshine!