Home Opinion #Opinion – 8 dangers of rekindling old flames!

#Opinion – 8 dangers of rekindling old flames!

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What’s it about the familiar that makes us comfortable? What’s it about those magical fairytales that ignites our desire for that “Happily ever” ending? Hmm… why is it so difficult to let go of an ex and just move on!

Yes, this cycle keeps repeating itself over and over again in many relationships as we find ourselves left with one of life’s most complicated questions – Is it wise to go back to an ex?

Just in case you’re reading this and you find yourself in that same dilemma, here are 8 reasons why you probably shouldn’t go back to your ex:

1 No impressing stage: Yeah, you guys have been there and done that and no doubt, the novelty stage is done. Your former partner’s thoughts would most likely be “he/she should know me by now, duh!” So no adjustment is deemed necessary and implemented, therefore, the very issues which pissed you off from the very beginning tend to become aggravated and you become mad at the slightest pop-up – not healthy for a relationship, if it lasts that is.

2 Fond memories tend to look bleak: Somehow when you guys were separated and you missed your ex terribly, you exaggerated those good times. Suddenly it dawns on you; he isn’t as funny, nice or loving as you thought!  Then you switch to permanent anger mode cos you feel stuck.

3 You start drifting apart: This is a consequence of number two. Because you’re disappointed that he didn’t quite turn out to be the “Prince Charming” you thought he was, slowly your anger takes over and your physical being remains in the relationship but your soul goes to wonderland until the realization dawns and you dust your shoes and pick up your broken heart once again!

4 Same old routine bores you out of your mind: God! You feel like chocking him each time he tells the same jokes and stories over and over again. Nothing is new. Besides you find out he’s still the same person and those promises of – “Oh, this time would be different baby” just seem like a brilliant lie! It’s no different than the other time; he cheats on you, yells at you at will, it just goes on and on! Yes you think the next time things would be different, but it probably won’t.

5 Your “sorry” ex might just want to prove he didn’t make a mistake the first time he left: Selfish but true. Your ex might not really want you and  might just not be so… into you like you think, he just wants a second chance to confirm he made the right decision to dump you in the first place. Curiosity satisfied – he dumps you the second time too without looking back (harsh huh?).

6 He wants absolute control over you: When you guys were dating for the first time, he was your lord and his say was final. Your submissive personality gives him that kick he so desperately needs to feed his somewhat bruising ego. Now you’re gone and he wants to feel good about himself once more, so he comes back and you accept, but he never and would never respect you. You are his assurance of confidence and he would stop at nothing to claim you!

7 Untamed jealousy: He doesn’t want to be with you but the mere thought of another “claiming his spot” makes him mad. He’s driven by one thought – “If he can’t have you, no one else will!” So he does the needful and plays the “sorry card”, gullibly you buy into it and like they say – The rest is history! (Filled with many dramas, that is) lol. So the unattainable becomes irresistibly tempting, story line; You’ve found a new love and the chase game excites him, you become a thrill – a hunger, he must quench.

8 Breaking the barrier of sophistication: So he breaks your tender heart and you’ve put the pieces back together real neat. He sees the polished exterior, the whole new compose hotter you and then he wonders, “could she still be that naive little thing I left all teary eyed”? “Would she jump at me when the whole world isn’t looking?… Yes curiosity drives his asking for a second chance and you better be wise, if not your new found confidence would fly out the window quicker than she arrived and it would take a long long time to mend those pieces!

So there you have it, some mental juggling to help you with this crucial decision. Although sometimes our exes might truly repent and come back and it all ends up with that “Happily ever after theme” most times it’s a different ball game.

If these step seem too long a process, just ask yourself this question – “Was it really that good or I am just too emotionally attached to this person!? “. Remember, these thought; you just might be setting yourself up for a major disappointment and when it all comes crashing down, you just might not be able to live with yourself for making the same mistake twice!

Khloe Kardashian you better watch out!

Love’s beautiful guys! Lol…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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