Falling in love is easy, it involves butterflies and long walks on moonlit beaches. You hear wedding bells, see fireworks and fall into something that feels perfect.
Staying in love, however is not so easy. Once the initial shine of new love has worn off, obstacles and hurdles appear seemingly out of nowhere. There are warts, there are regrets, sometimes staying in love feels impossible.
Falling in love can be the start of a loving relationship, but lasting relationship doesn’t just happen: they grow. In many ways, nurturing a relationships is like tending a garden.
Neglect it and it dies. Constant care and cultivation including the following suggestions are needed to keep love alive and growing.
Cherish your wife, respect your husband
The core emotional need of a woman is to be cherished, thus it is the husbands number one responsibility. That means making her feel loved and appreciated and that she’s your number one priority.
A man’s core emotional need is to feel respected by his wife. When he cones home, he want to feel that there is at least one person in the world who thinks he’s got what it takes.
Treat each other like best friends
Under the marriage canopy, one of the seven blessings given to the bride and groom is that they should become “beloved friends”. If you do this, you will enjoy the relationship.
Remember the four golden words; listen, compromise, repair and gratitude. Agree to keep one basic rule at the beginning of your marriage: no matter how upset you are, never launch a verbal attack.
Fighting with insults only makes problems worse.
Listening: its essential for working together and solving problems. Allow your spouse to speak without interruption.
Compromise: strive to solve problems where both of you are happy with the solution. Neither one should feel coerced into accepting the other persons point of view.
Repair: when you hurt each other emotionally, repair the breakdown and remove the lingering feelings of anger and resentment.
Gratitude: you can never say thank you enough to your spouse. Try to notice everything your spouse does for you and acknowledged it with sincere gratitude.
Establish strong boundaries: your spouse is your number one priority not your parent, relatives, friends, children, work or hobbies.
Set strong boundaries that show you value your marriage and don’t allow anyone or anything to weaken your relationship.
Give each other pleasure daily: marriage is ultimately about making each other feel good, striving to give your spouse pleasure on a daily basis.
On his or her terms. if she says she likes lilies,don’t bring her roses because you think they’re more romantic
Learn how your spouse prefers to be given to: wether its physical affection, words of affirmation, receiving gift, acts of service (like helping out in the house running errands) or spending quality time.