The first time I ever heard the name Toke Makinwa (TM), I stumbled on her Vlog on YouTube, while I thought her topics and opinions made no sense to me, I was struck by her sense of humour in these videos. Her name and photos kept coming up in exclusive parties all over Nigeria, that she earned the nick name ‘Everywhere you go’.
I must confess her vivacious personality and fashion sense, had me glued to her, although she isn’t exactly a favorite Nigerian celebrity. Try as she might Toke Makinwa can’t seem to stay in the good books of popular opinions, considering how generous she is on social media, dolling out money to those in need. She has always rubbed Nigerians off the wrong way.
This socialite had successfully constructed a facade of herself, the image of the perfect life-perfect wife. She became the idol, at whose feet Nigerian women worshiped and her words became gospel truth. How many women craved to live her life for a moment.
Then this facade she had worked so hard to build, came crashing down around her. The shock that reverberated through the circle of Nigerian women was outrageous, TM’s life may not be perfect after all, as she is experiencing marital woes like every normal woman. Many greeted this revelation with sympathy, most with glee.
Toke Makinwa did what most Nigerian women will never have the courage to do, because they would rather be held captive in a toxic marriage, while brandishing the symbols of their Mrs-ship emblazoned on their left fingers. She did not only seek for a divorce from her childhood sweetheart Maje Ayida, she published a tell all book about her intimate experiences in her marriage (talk about turning adversity into an advantage).
I read her book out of curiosity, I must confess I thoroughly enjoyed it (who doesn’t like written gossip), hers was not the mumbo-jumbo of words celebrities were known to publish. The book was simple and she used words beautifully, such that I laughed, cried and felt sympathy while reading her book, emotions I am sure she wanted to evoke.
After her book was published, watch Nigerian women take up arms, denouncing their cheating husbands and boyfriends, Toke had shown that it is not a crime to leave a toxic marriage or relationship. She had single-handedly given Nigerian women all over, the courage to do the unthinkable – ask for a divorce.
These dramas surrounding her, only fueled my admiration for the socialite – a soon to be divorcee who was making all that money, going for book tours in different countries, all dressed to the nines;living an even more glamorous lifestyle than when she was hitched. She became an epitome of what an independent woman should be.
She has also been quite verbal of what she thought of women who were mistresses, moreover didn’t she lose her marriage to the machinations of a mistress, who fell pregnant for her husband Maje Ayida? There was no love lost for mistresses, side chicks and sugar babies, in Toke’s universe.
Alas! we catch the whiff of a scandal, TM may just as well be the biggest hypocrite that ever lived, she is the mistress to a 70 year old Dr. Fadeyi according to the rumours, that abound. Many are in shock that darling Toke may be that which she had criticized – a mistress, to a grandfather no less. The expensive designer clothes and business class tickets to exotic locations around the world, are not funded by her hard work as she would lead us to believe.
The controversial socialite has plunged from her pedestal of girl power, watch the tongues wag; with many quick to tear her down. The fact she is a mistress is not what I find shocking, after all in Nigeria, the prevalent misogyny and patriarchy have women attaching themselves to male protector – his marital status is irrelevant.
Our society invalidates the success and identity of a woman who has no man, if you can’t get yours, steal one, that is the norm. So she had done nothing out of the ordinary, being a mistress to a much older man. Her transgressions is society’s open secret, one many women commit everyday.
I just find it appalling, her blatant hypocrisy, she is quick to tear down mistresses, behind closed doors she is one; in her book and Vlog, her husband’s mistresses are not spared, from her harsh judgement. She had become the hope for married women, who suffer infidelity in their marriages. Now she has turned around to be the opposite of that which she represents.
In the midst of all of these ruckus, I entertain a niggling sense of doubt, that Toke Makinwa may be the victim of a malicious rumour, from those who do not like her and are willing to tear her down. What about a disgraced ex husband, who is driven to take his pound of flesh.
Her devoted disciples, await her response to these accusations, however she has given no response, justifying or refuting these speculations. Is hers, shock that her secret has been revealed and is feverishly working with her publicist for a good cover story; or is it the silence of an innocent person, bearing the ugly weight of guilt.
Possibilities and more possibilities.
Is Toke Makinwa a mistress and a destroyer of matrimonial unions or is it all a malicious rumour?